For the Good of the Order

Last night we had another school meeting and I got the opportunity to share the news which I described in my last post. In short: I shared that putting my own kid in public school for kindegarten this August would allow me to better serve the development of the school.

We were out there at the park with our 8 kids running amok until 10 pm because we had two new families at the meeting and I wanted to wait until after they left to share the news. I didn't think it would be fair to "stir the pot" with brand new families in the mix.

The news was jarring and it took time to process. I feel exhausted this morning. I keep replaying the night and wondering if I really did the best I can do. I felt like I was talking loud and emphatically, and that speech pattern makes me wonder if I was being fanatical and arrogant. And as the group rehashed some of the last meeting's conversation it occurred to me that I'd had a very different experience of the conversation than the others had. Of course, that is always the case... but it highlighted to me that having my own son on the enrollment list amplified my drive and pushiness for some of the specific details of the strategic plan. Having my own son's needs in the equation limited my ability to really hear the needs of the emerging order.

I believe that people can realize their dreams if they are willing to face their fears and work hard. I've proven this to myself numerous times. My husband and I are persistent, we know that success requires a willingness to fail frequently until you get it right. None of us have ever formed a school. For me there is great beauty and great learning in the trying, in the trials.

I like to think that I have organizational skills for a reason and that my Purpose has to do with helping people realize their dreams by organizing group efforts. Forest is a bright kid and he's going to learn no matter where he spends his days. Now that he's "taken care of" for this school year I can be clear about acting for the good of the order rather than acting out of self interest. I feel emboldened to lead the process. I feel like the gap between the present and August 24th will close quickly and there's much work to do. I'm already forming action items and lists in my mind, and now I'm comfortable playing manager and bringing more accountability to the picture. This is what the emerging school requires and I have the skills to play the part. For the good of the order.