"It's the end of the world as we know it, and I feel fine"

I have more hope about the world than ever before. One big reason I feel so hopeful is because of all the turbulence and chaos. That might sound wierd, but it's true. I have an M.A. in Chaos Theory and Social Change. The reason I pursued that degree is that when I first discovered Chaos Theory it completely transformed my life. (I just love science... and my favorite theories are Chaos Theory, Gaia Theory, and the idea that the universe is a Holograph).

Chaos Theory is comprised of these simple tennets:

1. Turbulence precedes a jump to a new level of order
2. Feedback generates form
3. All systems are universal and self-similar
4. There is a sensitive dependence on initial conditions

I'm not going to bother with a lengthy explanation or trying to prove these ideas to you. My personal experience with growth and transformation is that when the 'poopie hits the fan' in my life it's feedback that I could make new choices and hopefully avoid the same kinds of problems in the future. This came after noticing that I was dealing with the same crap over and over again. Like attracting the same unhealthy relationships into my life. There had to be some reason I kept dating people who really were not interested in marriage and family. Perhaps it was because I hadn't made up my own mind about what I really wanted.

It was just about 10 years ago that I discovered Chaos Theory and since then everything is very different. I now see all turbulence as an opportunity. Everything which used to fall into the category of problem or catastrophe is now viewed as a gift. For example, take this ice storm we had which qualifies as a natural disaster. We went 19 days without power or running water. There were so many gifts, like neighbors coming together, we learned how prepared we are and how to be even more prepared, we stepped up our quest for renewable energy sources, my dad's building a wind generator, the storm was amazingly beautiful, and I got to spend lots of time with my family while I wasn't working.

Oh sure, there were challenges. And yes, there were 2 days of the 19 when I felt pretty depressed. But that was a gift as well.

If there was one thing I could give to any and every person on the planet it would be optimism. Choosing to percieve the bullshit as a gift is so much better for my health and well-being. Maybe that's what R.E.M. meant when they sang "It's the end of the world as we know it, and I feel fine." There are a number of dysfunctional systems, patterns, and beliefs which I am ready to see come to an end. And as I watch them crumble, I feel fine.

Light Emerging

As the days grow longer and we pass out of the dark half of the year, I feel the return of my own drive and motivation. This year there are even more obvious metaphors of light emerging from darkness. Probably the most obvious is that we have just lived through a natural disaster. An ice storm hit AR and KY on 1/26. For 19 days we had no electricity and no running water.

The Forest Service is abuzz with a return to a lighter mode as well. I've worked for the agency for 8 years. The story of those 8 years has been the story of ever shrinking budgets and ever increasing demands. Our passion and dedication to the land was sometimes the only thing which kept us going as we witnessed first hand the impacts of global climate change under an administration which ignored and even denied the threat (at least for the first 3-4 years). Each year wild fire consumed more land and dollars while we desperately castrated our business operations to pinch every penny.

Now we're slated to receive approximately 1.3 billion dollars to let contracts, creating private sector jobs, with the focus of hazardous fuels reduction and woody biomass utilization as an energy source. Finally we're under an administration which sees the inextricable links between environment, economy, and society.