Diversity: Considering the Roots of Civil Rights

As we prepare for our first two deep dives in January in Portland, I am continuing to delve into Civil Rights in my own way. This morning a Facebook friend passed me a video set to Nina Simone's 1964 song, Please Don't Let Me Be Misunderstood.


The series of photos included in the video reminded me of the Little Rock Nine. I live in Northern Arkansas. Just 80 miles from here, in 1957, nine African American children were enrolled in Little Rock Central High School. The students had initially been blocked by the Governor, but this was over-ridden by President Eisenhower.


On the first day of school, the Governer called the Arkansas State Guard to form a blockade to prevent the students from entering and to support the segregationist protestors. Two weeks later the children entered the school for the first time, under the watchful eye of the 101st Airborne Division of the United States Army. In fact, Eisenhower actually federalized the Arkansas State Guard in order to take them out of the Governor's command.

The nine children were then subject to a year of physical and verbal abuse. They were spat upon, beaten up, and one even had acid thrown into her eyes.

I sit here now deeply ashamed. Not ashamed to be white, and not ashamed to be an Arkie. In this moment I feel deeply ashamed of being a human. I do not understand what madness drives any human to these ends. By what madness has it ever been okay to terrorize children?

Diversity: When Comfort Leaks Ignorance

As we prepare to conduct our first conversations with various groups in the Pacific Northwest, I have been observing the behaviour of Forest Service employees in other regions and in other programs. I have recently noticed some dynamics and I am curious about the underlying structures in our system which produce these behavioural outcomes.

A group of middle managers were together for the third session of a six month leadership development course. They had been face to face together for three one-week sessions and felt a strong sense of rapport. During a discussion about the ladder of inference, the group explored the assumption that "all the good jobs in the agency are wired," meaning that a number of hiring officials had engaged in pre-selection.

During the course of the conversation, meant to illustrate the power of making assumptions, the group circled around to a cultural belief that there are diversity quotas and that sometimes the most skilled candidate is overlooked in favor of what's referred to as "the diversity candidate." There are really two interesting dynamics which became apparent to me as I observed the discussion.

First, the group's comments demonstrate a shared belief that there is a difference between the most skilled candidate and the diversity candidate. This implies that collectively we don't believe that the most diverse individual may also be the most skilled individual. When I frame it thus, the logical mind rejects the thought. Of course there are highly skilled individuals in every race! Therefore, I submit that the individuals in the room were not cognizant that their behaviour demonstrated an illogical prejudice.

Second, of the nearly 40 people in the room, all were caucasian but one. It seemed as if those individuals contributing to the group conversation had no awareness that there was a person of color in the room who may have felt discomfort. (Unlike the others, this man may have noticed the assumption which was exposed in my first point.) Maybe they felt so comfortable together that they did not view the man of color as anything apart from themselves? In fact, that idea by itself is beautiful - why should a group of friends view the one man as anything different from how they view themselves?

The two notions together create an interesting tension in our cultural beliefs (writen in a perspective which may represent the majority of our employees): the people with whom I am friendly are just like me, but the people with whom I must compete for employment are different and less skilled.

As I probe the possibilities in this thought experiement, it occurs to me that employment satisfies our most basic needs for food and shelter. Food and shelter are fundamental to our ability to survive. Competition for a job, then, is very closely assosciated with competition for survival. We could say that these two drives are parallel.

So, then, if the drive to compete for employment is parallel to the drive to compete for survival, then is it possible that while under the influence of these tandem drives, an individual may experience amygdala hijacking? This question deserves a whole new blog post. But for now, this is certainly something on which to chew.

Diversity: Crafting the Questions

In order to conduct a thorough exploration of the Civil Rights System in the Pacific Northwest Region of the US Forest Service, we will be hosting a number of focus groups and dialogue circles. The success of each conversation, and ultimately the project at large, begins with identifying just the right questions to ask.

I propose the following Four Levels of Listening, from Otto Scharmer, as a model which can steer our project team both in the development of questions and in providing us with a shared language to use when planning the process for our focus groups and dialogue circles. Also, this model can help us to assess the depth of the information gleened in each session.

According to Otto Scharmer's work, Theory U, there are four levels of listening. At level one listening I hear you through the filters of my own attitudes and beliefs. As I listen I compare what you are saying with what I already think. I seek to either accept or reject your words based on whether or not they confirm my own judgements. At level one listening, what you say to me does not fit in with what I already believe, I will reject your words and I may even reject you.

At level two listening I have stopped my internal thinking and am simply hearing what you say. Because your words aren't passing through the filter of my own attitudes, I am willing to change my mind based on what you've said. That's why Scharmer calls it the "Open Mind" phase.

At level three listening I have become emotionally hooked on what you are saying. Some how during the course of conversation I experienced an empathetic connection to the words. Now I'm not only listening with an open mind, but an open heart as well. When you're chatting with co-workers at the water cooler, and the conversation switches from football to someone's recent cancer diagnosis, the listening leaps from levels one and two to level three. You can feel the shift in the room. You'll notice that when an entire group shifts to level three, some people will even place their hands on their hearts for a moment.

Level four happens the least frequently but provides the most memorable experience of conversation and connection. When I am in a group and we are all engaged at this depth, I feel like the very forces of creativity and innovation are passing through us. I find that the words which move through me in these moments represent completely new ideas. I'm often startled at the clarity afforded in these moments of being "in the flow" with others.

As we craft our key questions we'll need some questions which specifically target each level. Here's an example:

If we trust the model and agree that the greatest learning occurs at deeper levels of listening, then it becomes strategically important to drive the group toward conflict and debate (level two) in order to reach levels three and four.

What do you think? What are the really hard questions? What sorts of debates stand between our intention and our collective learning?

Diversity: Epigenetic Factors

Epigenetic factors are the biases, prejudices, and fears passed from one generation to the next. (Villoldo 2010).


Along with hair color, shape of nose, length of legs, we inherit a great deal of our thinking from our families. Carolyn Myss compares communities that are ethnically and culturally similar to tribes. Being strongly identified with a tribe means that some percentage of the individual's thoughts and actions are dictated by the tribe.


Here's an example, many white teens raised in small Mid-Western, rural towns choose to become Republican and Christian as adults, which reflects the dominant paradigm of their community. As children, we cannot fully comprehend politics, religion, and philosophy so we default to expressing the same views as our parents and other nearby role models. Even adult tribe members don't often take time to consider religion, politics, and philosophy to any great length. It is more efficient to default to the tribe, or often to the leader of the tribe. Believing that the leader is responsible and accountable and leaving the details to him is a justification for reduced consciousness, reduced awareness.


The epigenetic factors passed from generation to generation are patterns because the complex of biases, prejudices, and fears take the form of neural networks (see pic) which have been reinforced by each generation and then validated throughout one's own life as we "see that which we expect to see" of others.

Socialization is the process of being introduced to the thought constructs of our parents. It's the replication of neural circuitry from generation to generation. We are introduced to our parents thought constructs in the simply course of daily living. For efficiency and survival we are programmed to largely trust and accept these ideas. And that helps us fit in with the tribe. Around the age in which the young leave the family home there is a window of opportunity in which rebellion and differentiation from the parents may include becoming aware of and rejecting inherited thought patterns. Other opportunities to notice and reject social programming arise throughout adulthood. Frequently in the form of negative feedback.

As we journey to the center of the Civil Rights system it is important we maintain awareness of the concept of epigenetic factors. I suspect that the replication of neural circuitry among tribe members who share thought constructs produces an electromagnetic resonnance which increases the gravity of that thought construct.

The beliefs we share with our family and our community of choice produce a sense of cohesion, safety, and trust. These beliefs are interwoven with sentiments such as care for and appreciation of our community. The sensitivity around epigenetic factors is this: When we invite someone to notice their own subconscious attitudes and actions they may discover incongruence. The individual may discover that her subconscious attitudes and actions are not at all in alignment with her values. This can be quite shocking and a big part of the threat is that it calls into question one's loyalty to the tribe.

It has only been five or six generations since Americans owned slaves. It has only been three generations since Germany sought to exterminate Jews. Some epigenetic factors are connected to actual trauma experienced by recent ancestors. Passing down fear of enemies is a survival instinct.

Delving into this lake of the collective subconscious with the intention of understanding why our workforce does not reflect the population demographics of the American public will require sensitivity, respect, trust, and honor. (gulp)

Diversity: Circling the Lake Together

Last week I flew to Portland to meet the project team for the Civil Rights & Diversity Systems Mapping project. The project team includes Laurie Thorpe, the Executive Officer for Independent Resources (a Forest Service Enterprise Team) and Heidi Bigler Cole, who holds PhD in Social Sciences. We held a three hour meeting and invited employees from the region to meet the project team and join us in framing the project. There were probably 25 people in total.

During the session we shared a definition of systems thinking and together explored why it might be valuable to take a systems approach to understanding the Civil Rights program in the Pacific Northwest Region of the US Forest Service.

In my last blog post I compared exploring the way that a system pervades our subconscious mind as going on a deep dive. To further the metaphor, last week's brief session was about becoming acquainted with my fellow divers. Our small project team will be as a stone dropped into the center of the lake with a design and intention to go deeper into the collective subconscious and perhaps even brush the unconscious expression of diversity, or lack thereof, in the region.

Laurie, Heidi, and I will meet weekly and form the core container - the stone which is to be dropped in the lake. The first ripple circle beyond the point where the stone splashes into the water will be our guidance. This circle includes the Civil Rights Director, a Dialogos consultant, and a Diversity consultant, Audrey Peterman. The work itself consists of convening a number of focus groups - circles of people who'll be invited to the lake and coaxed to go for a swim.

It will be up to each individual whether they dive in or splash around in the shallow edges of the lake. Even if an individual chooses to simply watch from the shore she will discover that the surface of the water is changing and the reflections which are mirrored back will gently raise questions for the observer.

Today I'm feeling ready and would love to jump right in to the water. But I recognize that we need a few more weeks to plan several dives. We will let a number of people know where we plan to go. We will attempt to pre-sense just what might be lurking down there. We will design methods and schedule focus groups and discover more fellow swimmers.

Diversity: An Invitation to Dive Deep

I have recently been invited to apply my systems thinking and mapping skills to the area of Civil Rights and Diversity. The Pacific Northwest Region (Region 6) of the US Forest Service has a new civil rights director. She has been involved in the application of systems thinking to the exploration of the agency's safety culture. That work, lead by Dialogos, has touched many employees in a very significant way. As a result, systems thinking and mapping is gaining in noteriety in the agency.

My role, which is only just beginning, will be to sit in circle, hold deep conversations, quietly notice the patterns and dynamics, and then draw a map of the complexity.

In preparation for our very first meeting, which is next week, the director asked us to ponder what the project means to us. This was a very difficult question to answer. Perhaps because a core aspect of my role is to be present while groups of people co-create meaning and understanding, and I can't possibly anticipate what meaning I will participate in creating.

I feel as if I'm arriving at a beautiful and serene lake. In my approach I can see the brilliant blue surface reflecting the light of the sun. I have no idea how deep the water is or what lies beneath the surface. I only know that in order to be safe I must tread gently. As I prepare for this deep dive, of which I will dedicate one week per month for the next six months, I review what I have learned about myself and diversity thus far. I scan my herstory for clues as to what the exploration might reveal.

My scan reveals to me a tenderness, a vulnerable place within my core. There is only one thing of which I am certain: this exploration will expose me to aspects of my thinking which are subconscious or perhaps even unconscious. How do I know that? Because I too was socialized into a system of disparity and oppression. The simple act of growing up in a small town in Oklahoma has exposed me to generations of misinformation, fear, and even hatred. Within the boundaries of my awareness I have been thoughtful and even an activist. But in order to stretch the boundaries of awareness I must dive into this lake.

On more than one occassion I have observed the appearance of a thought in my mind which is ugly and shameful. I'm grateful to have even noticed. When this happens it gives me pause and I explore what lies beneath the thought. In most cases I realize that the thought is a judgement with which I am not actually in agreement in the present moment. So how is it that I have thoughts with which I don't agree?

The way I explain this to myself is that a great deal of my thinking was programmed in as I participated in society. I have seen a black man, for example, and had the thought "Be careful." Then paused and challenged the thought and saw it as ridiculous. Why be any more careful around a man simply because of his skin tone? It has nothing to do with the man before me. It has everything to do with the messages which saturate the world in which I live. It is the voice of my college roommate, a jewish girl from Philadelphia, who cautioned me against getting gas on Broward Boulevard in Fort Lauderdale one night because every patron was African American. It is the voice of my great Aunt who hissed obscenities. It is the voice of some ancient ancestor who perhaps felt he had to compete with people of color in order to have enough food for his family.

As I circle the lake and climb over the boulders which represent that which I have already learned about diversity I can't help but wonder what lurks beneath the surface. What thoughts are yet so unconscious that I've never glimpsed them? I set the intention to be gentle with myself and my ancestors, I draw in a deep breath, and I slide my left food along the sun baked boulder and into the cool water.

The Locus of Consciousness

Otto Scharmer describes four fields of being, or "structures of attention". His diagram makes sense to me because I've had personal experiences of each level. In level one my attention (aka my consciousness) is located solidly within my self. I experience myself as completely unique and located within my physical body. When I look out at the world I am looking through my filters, which are constructed out of my own experience, dreams, and expectations.

At field two my consicousness is resting at the edge of my self. I've pushed myself beyond my filters and can listen to others in a very neutral and objective way.

In field three I am having a deeply compassionate experience of another being. This is always, for me, an emotional connection. When I feel compassion and empathy for you, the electromagnetic frequencies of our two hearts are resonnating at a similar frequency and this allows me to temporarily move beyond myself and feel deeply connected to you.

Recently, and with more frequency, I've been experiencing field four, which is the field of presence. And this is why I'm writing, in order to attempt to further understand the field four experience. Near the end of the winter I experienced a somewhat abrubt shift in consicousness. I had the experience of spontaneously gaining access to information which was located beyond the boundaries of my physical self. It seemed completely out of context and even scary. Since then I've been practicing field four as often as I can, so that I may understand the space and feel more comfortable operating that way.

If you look at the diagram above you can see that unlike the first three fields where there is only one red dot representing the source of one's attention, or consciousness, field four shows multiple points. When I practice shifting to field four out in nature, I consider the boundaries of my awareness. I look to the horizon and identify the farthest points which I'm capable of seeing. I listen to the sounds and think about the area of the domain of which I'm capable of hearing. I also check in with other sensory perception, though the reach is not as far for taste, smell, and touch. From this state of expansion I then notice feeling as if there is not one "me" located firmly inside my body. I also notice that I have almost no thoughts, no internal dialogue... only the awareness of that which occurs within my domain of perception. Things like birds singing, or an airplane overhead, or the play of sunlight and shadow on the distant hillside. It's actually a quite peaceful state of being, and one which is strived for through a number of spiritual practices.

But when I've had this expansion among other people it has not been so peaceful. There have been several times in my life when my awareness has expanded into a domain which includes other people. It is as if the boundary of my perception is the edge of the room rather than the edge of my physical body. Usually when I'm at my most expansive state of presence I am aware of the emotions and attitudes of others in the space. Periodically, when someone is having a very negative emotional experience I have had the experience of feeling that emotion as if it belonged to me personally, and even having thoughts associated with the feeling that were distinctly not my own thoughts. For example, once on a week long river rafting trip I sat, for a few hours, next to a woman who was experiencing back pain and was really unhappy about being on the boat for several more days. During the time while I sat next to her I found myself having a stream of thoughts along these lines: What am I doing here? I never should have come. This is completely ridiculous. I am miserable and I want to go home. But I was actually having the time of my life and really enjoying the trip and the scenery, which allowed me to notice that these were not, in fact, my own thoughts.

There have been three distinct times in my life when, from this place of deep presence and expansion, I've experienced temporarily seeing and hearing other peoples thoughts. Experientially it was disturbing... particularly when the other person noticed that I was understanding more about them than should usually be the case. Intellectually it is exciting and makes alot of sense to me.

Physics is showing us how the particle/waves which construct our reality are also units of information, perhaps even consciousness itself. Conceptually I believe human systems each have a kind of sentience of their own. I am a sentient being known as Toni, but I'm also part of several other human systems which each posess their own domain. Perhaps field four is the map of a non-local, non-individual sentience in which I participate? Perhaps it is not Toni who can sometimes access information which is not usually available to an individual. Perhaps that which is Toni can be temporarily disolved into some larger form of sentience, and from that place each of us has access to the internal subjective experience of a collective in which we participate? I reckon I'll be gently groping about in this exploration for several months. Perhaps even longer...

Kubler-Ross's 5 Stages of Grief Applied to Climate Change

Elizabeth Kubler-Ross identified five stages of grief which have recently been applied to many other types of change. The five stages are:

1. Denial
2. Anger
3. Bargaining
4. Depression
5. Acceptance

It has long been my position that what is commonly referred to as resistance to change can be better understood as one of the first four stages of grief. In my own personal history I have experienced all five stages in relation to global climate change. And while I'll describe that in order, I want to emphasize that my progression through the stages has been far from linear. Before reaching acceptance I swirled and spiraled around and through the first four phases a number of times.

Denial - I became aware of 'global warming' as it was called, in 1991 when I was in high school. I wrote a term paper on rainforest deforestation my junior year and a term paper on global warming my senior year. I'd have to say that for me 'denial' was the first 16 years of my life when I loved being outdoors but had absolutely no sense of environmental ethics.

Anger - Throughout the 1990s I was very angry about the history of Western civilization, industry, and capitalism. In general I felt like the only way justice could be served was if ALL humans (including me) were anihilated and the Earth was left to heal herself.

Bargaining - In 2000 I joined the US Forest Service. I was a GS-4 Visitor Information Specialist. I spent my days talking with visitors about the natural environment and picking up cigarette butts in Sedona, AZ. During this phase I spent much of my time, both personally and professionally seeking ways to balance nature and humanity so that our species could perhaps learn from our mistakes and co-evolve with the Earth.

Depression - I've had seasons of depression throughout the previous stages. There have been times when I feel like we're completely doomed. There have been times when I have felt like some groups will survive but most others will experience cataclysmic demise and death. At I've sought to understand multiple perspectives I've encountered numerous religious, cultural, and philosophical perspectives which predict or suggest a huge die-off of humans. Each time this possibility presents itself to me I attempt to really feel the full depth of my dispair, or sometimes our collective dispair... and somehow, each time I dive deeply into the possibility of loosing everything, I end up experiencing some form of acceptance.

Acceptance - From within depression I have noticed the equisite beauty of the fragility of all of Earth, including humans. My sorrow has been a type of gateway, as if the tears have washed away the selfishness of my personal perspective and left me with the ability to appreciate all of creation. From this place of appreciation I noticed a sense of connectedness with all of creation. I should clarify that the sense of connectedness was not new, but noticing this unity of consciousness while standing on the bridge between depression and acceptance of global climate change provides an entirely different vista. In fact, acceptance has, for me, been a gateway to a sixth stage: hope.

Hope - I stand firmly rooted in acceptance of mankinds past foibles and follies. I can appreciate that every generation has always done the best they could with what they had. I have come to forgive the fires of industry as an amplification of a parent's deep drive to provide well for the family. In acceptance of our present global situation I discovered a number of people who were highly motivated to generate change. I have a deep sense of gratitude and hope for all of Earth and her children. I understand that we're connected and that though there may be a great deal of uncertainty and even catastrophe, I trust that we are learning and we will continue to evolve together.

In my next post I intend to broaden the application of these stages of change and apply them to the myriad of perspectives which I observe when considering the complexity of climate change. To do this I will share portions of a causal loop analysis which I've been developing along with several others.

Can Economic Needs Drive the Greening of Americans?

Recently I had the opportunity to speak to some individuals affiliated with the timber industry, representing both local government and private interests. Something very interesting occurred to me in response to the conversations.

Regardless of whether people believe that the climate is changing, and regardless of whether they feel that climate change is driven by humans, there are people and companies joining the green movement because of economic interests. This probably doesn't come as a huge suprise to everyone. I've long heard self proclaimed greenies complain when giant careless corporations go green just to maximize profits.

What I am writing about today is something else entirely. I'm talking about hard working, honest Americans who are in industries which are collapsing under current conditions. I'm talking about folks who perhaps even belong to political parties, clubs, and churches which take a strong anti-climate change, or anti-anthropogenic climate change stance; who are reconsidering green technologies so that they don't loose their homes, jobs, and the land which has been in their family for generations.



The green curve you see above is a change curve that is so popular that I could not determine who originated it. It basically shows a bell curve distribution of people in response to any particular change. Under it is an amplifying loop, or growth engine entitled "Reinforced Survival of Individuals and Families. It can be read like this: employment leads to water, food, and shelter, which leads to individual and family survival, which (according to Maslow) affords one the capacity for higher learning, in this case the capacity to learn a trade. Over time this leads to being employable and over time that leads to having employment, which provides food and shelther.

In my most recent post, Honoring Multiple Perspectives, I spoke about how there are many mixed opinions around the possibility of global climate change. Today I suggest to you that the greening of America does not depend upon agreement around the science of climate change. Regardless of our science, politics, or theology, we all share the same fundamental human needs for food and shelter. In the end, only that which makes economic sense to real people will be implemented.

Honoring Multiple Perspectives

It seems to me that there are a number of wicked problems facing the world today. There are challenges in the area of environment, economy, and society that are so exceedingly complex that no one person, or no one perspective, could possibly provide a useful solution.

Take, for example, the possibility of land managers collaborating on how to respond to climate change accross a particular landscape. Climate change is definitely a complex and controversial issue. There are myriad perspectives including

• The climate is not changing in any significant way, it has always been variable
• The climate is changing and it is part of a larger natural cycle
• The climate is changing and it is caused or exagerated by human activities
• The climate is getting warmer
• The climate is getting colder

How much agreement is necessary in order for people to collaborate on designing livable solutions to today's challenges?

In any particular region, land is managed by a number of different stakeholders including tribes, federal, state, and local government agencies, corporations, non-profit organizations, families, and individuals. Each of these groups has its own unique set of priorities and objectives for how and why the land should be managed. Even if all the land owners in a region agreed that it was strategically important and mutually beneficial to collaborate on a project, and even if they agreed upon what the challenges were, and even if they agreed upon what the solutions were, it would still be complex to balance the multiple missions, multiple objectives, and multiple organizational policies, in order to collaborate effectively.

But when collaboration is really the only solution to a problem, we can't simply ignore it due to the complexity and the challenges.

Lately I've been attempting to map the complexity of the multiple perspectives on climate change. The effort has been deeply transformative for me, and I wonder if sharing some of my own learning would be of service to anyone else. I'm hoping to have the time to blog a little more frequently than I have of late. My intention is to try and find ways to share something large and complex in small and easily digestible chunks. Even if it doesn't prove to be of value to anyone else, it will certainly be a useful excercise to me.

Exploring Groupthink

A reader recently posted a comment about whether Amygdala Hijacking might not be connected to the phenomenon of groupthink. I felt it was a great question and worthy of a new post. First, let me share my definitions for both. The amygdala is a tiny little part of the brain which is responsible for scanning one's emotional memories and creating an emotional reaction to a certain stimulus. The amygdala is fast and has the ability to catalyze a reaction even before the cortex (higher logical mind) has the chance to think everything through. Sometimes the amygdala locks in on an emotional memory and catalyzes a reaction that our higher logical mind would not have chosen, thus leading to the idea of "amygdala hijacking".

To put it in another really plain way, amygdala hijacking is the same as jumping to conclusions and getting all freaked out before having the facts.

Groupthink names the phenomenon of a group of people making a collective choice which sometimes goes against what the individual members of the group would have selected on their own. It is akin to the idea of mob mentality - when large crowds become possessed by some drive and the result is often violent. Wikipedia says Groupthink is a type of thought exhibited by group members who try to minimize conflict and reach consensus without critically testing, analyzing, and evaluating ideas.

While amygdala hijacking certainly steers individuals off course from time to time, might this also somehow play a role in groups? I think the answer is yes. If the group of people have a shared history and shared experiences then they could just as easily have shared scar tissue around past experiences which went poorly. When a new situation occurrs which is remarkably similar to one of these bad memories there is a strong chance that individuals will experience amygdala hijacking and start to have a negative emotional reaction to the present event -- even if logically it really isn't the same as the bad memory.

But, what I think is even more interesting than an aggregation of individuals each having their own melt down due to amygdala hijacking is the dynamic interplay of their emotional energies in the present moment. Allow me to expand...

When someone near you is angry, stressed, or worried it is easy for that feeling to rub off on you and others. That is because when a person is having a negative emotional experience their Heart Rate Variability (HRV) is a chaotic wave which is expressed in the electromagnetic frequency of the heart. Our bodies perceive the electromagnetic frequency of our own heart and take cues on how to behave based on this information. The Institute of HeartMath has demonstrated in their scientific research that the elecromagnetic frequency of the heart can be measured up to 8 feet away. If your body takes cues from your own heart's electromagenetic frequency then isn't it possible for your body to perceive the electromagnetic frequency of another's heart?

We've all seen it happen. Sometimes when you walk into a room you just know that there has been an argument. You can feel the anger in the room even as you enter.

To circle back around to groupthink; because of the shared history individuals can each have a stressful reaction to a new event, AND then the negative reaction can be amplified because several individuals are all having a negative reaction at the same time. Sometimes we sacrifice our individual wisdom in order to keep the peace and avoid the kinds of drama which have occurred in the past.

Sometimes smart people get together and produce illogical results. Sometimes the individual doesn't have the courage to speak up and instead just goes with the flow. Sometimes everyone is that individual and everyone goes with the flow instead of speaking up. In my profession we call this "Going to Abilene" because of a training film by the same name. Four people go to Abilene, Texas, for ice cream and have a miserable time. Later they discover that none of them ever wanted to go in the first place.

Groupthink, or Going to Abilene, is evident in families, organizations, and society. There could be entire chapters of history - dark and traumatic chapters even - which could be the product of groupthink. And all because the gravity and sway of group mentality is sometimes larger and more powerful than individual commitment and courage. This leads me toward exploring The Hero's Quest and why fierce individualism and corageous leadership by one individual is the archetypal solution for Going to Abilene... but that's a whole 'nother post alltogether!

Transforming the National Recreation Program

I'm in Salt Lake City attending a meeting on Sustainable Recreation in the US Forest Service. A small group of members of the Recreation program at the national, regional, and forest levels of the organization have crafted a National Recreation Strategy to replace an outdated strategy (I think the last strategy was crafted in 1988). The small group has worked for 2 years and is very excited to share the work with a larger group.

There's much passion and energy for this strategy because it's centered on principles of Sustainability and Community Engagement through Recreation and Tourism (CERT). There are a number of specific goals and objectives, but to say it in a nutshell... It's all about the Forest Service engaging with communities to have meaningful dialogue around how together to create balanced and long term health for people, profits, and the planet.

I've been providing some consultation and facilitation to the smaller group and today was the first day of a very complex meeting in which we shared the National Recreation Strategy, Sustainable Recreation, and CERT with a wide group of employees from around the country. We had about 20 people in the room, about 10 people on the telephone, and another 20 people on a video conference. It was trying and complex to mix the media, but absolutely necessary for a sustainability conversation to include low carbon methods for connecting.

I feel the day was a resounding success. We wrapped up the phone and video portion about 1.5 hours before the end of the day so that those of us who were present in the room (here in Salt Lake City) could process everything and begin to wrap our heads around things like...

1. What does sustainable recreation look like?
2. How might our lives be different when we've fully embraced the new National Recreation Strategy?
3. How are we going to share this experience with our leaders and our employees when we get home?
4. How can we foster transformation rather than paying lip service to a plan which is quickly shelved?

I'm ever so grateful to have not been the facilitator of the meeting. Lyn Wiltzes (sp?) from Seattle was the facilitator and did a remarkable job.

I'm feeling very jazzed. I feel like I'm in the right place at the right time and part of something BIG. Something with Purpose and Meaning. I feel this frequently at Forest Service meetings, which is probably why I fall in love with the Forest Service all over again every time I meet new employees or see a new and magnificent landscape. I'm so grateful to be a part of this organization and I'm grateful to have had all the amazing experiences I've had the past 9 years.

Hopefully I'll have time and energy to capture my reactions to day 2 of the meeting. I have the feeling that of all the things in which I've participated, this one is worth capturing for posterity.

Labor Begins

Everyone seemed to feel last nights school meeting was very productive. It was the 4 founding families, although all were invited. We agreed to put up our booth at the farmer's market on Saturday, agreed that of the two possible free locations for the school we preferred the old school house on Trace Ridge Road because it would require less construction (and there's only 8 weeks until school starts).

The bulk of the meeting was a discussion of the finances. I shared a simple equation to help us begin to finalize the projected income and expenses so that we can finalize the strategic plan in order to file for non-profit status. The equation is this:

Tuition = total expenses / # of student days per week

We began with the assumption that tuition was $10 per day and then determined which expenses were optional and which were absolutely necessary. Those deemed necessary included utilities, insurance, salary, facilities maintenance, and supplies. We assigned relatively solid estimates to each and discovered that there was a shortfall of about $80 per week.

We then identified several ways to fill in that gap:

• Seek more students (we need 8 more student days, so either 8 students who select one day a week or some combination of students who select 2-3 days per week)
• Rather than have a paid teacher for all 3 days a week, shift the strategy so that the paid employee does all coordination in 1 or 2 days and rely more upon the other parents to share the teaching.
• Plan more fund raising activities
• Plan to compensate the teacher with both dollars and goods or services.

The last option involves a great deal of administrative burden. The acceptable goods and services must be identified up front with a dollar value assigned to each. They would also be considered part of the taxable income and so there would still be some dollars associated for state and federal taxes.

There are still a number of questions to be answered, but I was personally proud and surprised that we are facing the uncertainties and working through the complexity together. I was also fairly surprised that no one suggested we forget about applying for non-profit status. That is certainly something to celebrate because in my mind that was the most often re-visited decision over the past 2 years. We really have come a long way!

Eight weeks of hard labor to go!

The Quickening

Apparently this baby wants to be born! Today our teacher got a call from a woman who has agreed to donate to us a location for our school! I for one had been discouraged by how much time had lapsed since the initial contact, but it turns out that once again I'm uselessly impatient!

The news appears to have given everyone a burst of energy and drive. A fund raising opportunity for this Saturday which had been cancelled is now on again!

I also had the opportunity to do some processing with a couple of the members of our group. It was good to know that people were willing to express having felt slighted and even angry in response to what I shared at our last meeting. It is so absolutely necessary to group cohesion that we learn how to work through conflict. And even though we talked about it conceptually at various points throughout our planning process, up until now we haven't gone there together.

I'm so pleased with our progress. We really have come a long way. I met these people at a local Summer Solstice celebration in 2006. At the same Summer Solstice party in 2007 we had the idea to form a school. Now, at this years Summer Solstice, only 2 years later, we'll be celebrating the fact that we have a location and three more families have joined our coop.

This is the Quickening. This is the time when the baby turns in the womb and is in position to be born. The labor is about to begin!

Struggling to Be Born

Recent changes in the school development project have been tough and really felt like a struggle. When I'm connected to my deepest sense of Purpose I'm certain that my decision is not only the best one for my family but also serves the school.

However, it cannot be denied that my decision is disruptive and jarring to our fragile womb. Is that a positive and neccessary part of gestation, or useless pain? I suppose only time will tell if I've been effective in midwifing the birth of this school. Reminds me of one of my past posts entitled "Life Lessons from my Chickens". A group of people working together to create an entirely new organization is a struggle. It is complicated enough for two people to form a partnership such as marriage, but for four families to become cohesive enough to create agreements based on commitments of time and money is incredibly complex.

And while I have a number of skills and tools to throw into the mix, there's still so much more that is needed for this collaborative venture to produce anything. We have passion and determination, but whether or not this outweighs our fear and uncertainty remains to be seen. I've attempted to create a space where people feel safe expressing concerns and discussing their growth edges. I've attempted to guide people to their growth edges and invited them to ponder the chasm between us and our dream. I've tried to model this by being transparent in sharing my own hopes and fears. I'm even putting myself into this blog, knowing full well that anyone can read this at any time.

Yesterday I gave out a six page list of the action items to be achieved in the next 10 weeks. At each step in the journey there seem to be two choices, either we step up or we step down. I sooooo want to see us step up. But I can't help but think that people might percieve that I have stepped down. I find myself questioning whether I did the right thing. But I don't want to be right, I want to be part of a cooperative elementary school. I want children in one of the poorest rural counties in the entire country to have a stellar education, regardless of the income of their parents. I want to look back at this blog post and smile in a knowing way... and realize that just like giving birth to a new baby, it was the most long, painful, and arduous blessing of our entire lives.

For the Good of the Order

Last night we had another school meeting and I got the opportunity to share the news which I described in my last post. In short: I shared that putting my own kid in public school for kindegarten this August would allow me to better serve the development of the school.

We were out there at the park with our 8 kids running amok until 10 pm because we had two new families at the meeting and I wanted to wait until after they left to share the news. I didn't think it would be fair to "stir the pot" with brand new families in the mix.

The news was jarring and it took time to process. I feel exhausted this morning. I keep replaying the night and wondering if I really did the best I can do. I felt like I was talking loud and emphatically, and that speech pattern makes me wonder if I was being fanatical and arrogant. And as the group rehashed some of the last meeting's conversation it occurred to me that I'd had a very different experience of the conversation than the others had. Of course, that is always the case... but it highlighted to me that having my own son on the enrollment list amplified my drive and pushiness for some of the specific details of the strategic plan. Having my own son's needs in the equation limited my ability to really hear the needs of the emerging order.

I believe that people can realize their dreams if they are willing to face their fears and work hard. I've proven this to myself numerous times. My husband and I are persistent, we know that success requires a willingness to fail frequently until you get it right. None of us have ever formed a school. For me there is great beauty and great learning in the trying, in the trials.

I like to think that I have organizational skills for a reason and that my Purpose has to do with helping people realize their dreams by organizing group efforts. Forest is a bright kid and he's going to learn no matter where he spends his days. Now that he's "taken care of" for this school year I can be clear about acting for the good of the order rather than acting out of self interest. I feel emboldened to lead the process. I feel like the gap between the present and August 24th will close quickly and there's much work to do. I'm already forming action items and lists in my mind, and now I'm comfortable playing manager and bringing more accountability to the picture. This is what the emerging school requires and I have the skills to play the part. For the good of the order.

Feedback and Resistance

I'm playing in several systems right now. In some cases the systems are 100 years old and I'm analyzing and intervening in service to a larger cause, such as various US Forest Service units at the national, regional, and Forest levels. In other cases I'm co-creating entirely new systems such as a cooperative elementary school and a new Forest Service Enterprise Unit called Organizational Development Experts (ODE).

In doing so the concepts of feedback and resistance come up frequently. First let me clarify that I'm using the term feedback from the Systems Dynamics perspective: feedback is an iterative process which generates the form of the system.

I left our last school meeting feeling angry and frustrated. I wanted to just let go of the entire effort. It seemed to me that the other people in the group were unable or unwilling to accept my donation of money for start-up costs such as filing the 501-3c (non-profit) paperwork. In my anger I realized it was futile to create a school based on fund raising and donations if the people who comprise the school are not able to accept or even ask for gifts of money. I took it as feedback that the group was just not ready to realize its dream.

Due to time and circumstances, I didn't get the chance to communicate any of this to anyone else in the group. And that's surely a blessing because as it percolated into my flesh I gained several more understandings. First, as the anger wore off I felt devastated and sad. I work hard to make positive changes in the world. In exchange for working hard I receive a salary which more than covers our basic needs. The earnings, then, afford me the opportunity to create even more good in the world by engaging in various activities such as switching to renewable resources and supporting the local economy and community. I felt like it was all a waste and that the effort was worthless if I couldn't share my abundance in our efforts to provide children and families with an excellent educational opportunity. For several days I grieved over this.

The grief turned to bargaining and I began to grope for ways of realizing this dream. As the facilitator of the strategic planning process, I feel like its my role to help the group take the steps needed to implement the vision and mission which we created over potlucks and amidst the din of laughing children. I thought of things I could say or do in order to nudge or even push people beyond their growth edges.

Finally, I've found acceptance, and here is what that looks like today. I've accepted that the group is not ready to realize the dream we created over the past two years. More importantly I've realized that they've been trying to tell me this for the past six months and I couldn't hear it because I was in denial. The truth is that the rest of the group is quite comfortable reaching for a smaller version of the dream, taking baby steps toward the larger dream. The truth is that we never really did lock in on one solid vision. My family came to the group with different needs and experiences than the other three families. Our central value for our kids education is that they need socialization, and so we were originally leaning toward public school. The other three families had always leaned toward home schooling for reasons of their own.

My husband and I have decided that this fall our son will start kindegarten at public school. Now that we've taken our kids out of the equation I can re-align myself with the needs of this group. I'm still dedicated to helping them realize their dream. I'm still dedicated to helping each and every person who is part of the cooperative achieve their best and highest purpose. And now more than ever I'm available to be present to the fact that being a servant to these people and their dreams means allowing it to emerge and unfold at its own pace.

It turns out that this time I was the resistance, and so I surrender in service to the greatest good.

Meta-Communication

The saturation of the World Wide Web with infinite volumes of content along with new web-based communication services such as Twitter, FaceBook, MySpace, Blogs, Wikis, etc. have resulted in a whole new order and organization for information and communication.

We have landed at an entirely new level of communication which I think of as Meta-Communication. It is now possible to share a real time connection with hundreds of friends and associates. This new found capacity is transforming the very fabric of society and the rules of socialization.

Entirely new heights of collaboration, coordination, and integration are possible. Technology has fostered a leap in our social consciousness. While younger generations and early adapters value the breadth, speed, and volume of mass communication; late adapters balk at the lack of depth and authenticity and some may never join cybersociety.

Shifting Fields of Attention

The planning for Leslie Creative Learning Cooperative has gone well. The visioning period went well. Last meeting we unhinged the structure and let things float for a period. We re-opened a number of variables that had been set in the first draft of the strategic plan. The meeting wrapped up and we had not come to any closure. I asked everyone to stay in the uncertainty until the next meeting, in order to see how the various options felt.

Last night we met again. I facilitated a process which I'm thinking of as a "Deep dive to I Am." We passed a talking stick and began with "When we left the meeting I felt... and since then I've been feeling...." I facilitated discerning thoughts from emotions. I held the intention and facilitated A) People going deeper in the U (Theory U) by personally admitting their fears, and B) Viewing themselves at responsible and accountable for starting a school, 3)Realizing that there were no external forces which were preventing us. By connecting to the universal emotion of fear people had a shared experience and were able to shift from field 1 and 2 to field 3: "Seeing myself as part of the whole."

Once people began sharing feelings of fear and disappointment they began experiencing care and compassion for each other. This raised the coherence of the field in such a tangilble way that it created safety. I then lead people to connect with their most creative and innovative self and pass the stick a round with this topic... "I know I can do this. I am ___. I am going to ___." Each individual made a number of commitements and assignments using "I am" at the beginningof each statement. Then I called out questions and prompted them to all reply "I am" again and again like drumbeats.

The purpose here was to allow it to really sink in that we were the only things stopping us and that we decide whether we succeed. It also made a cadence which shifted the field from care and compassion due to vulnerability, but rather hype and momentum for success. Next we passed the talking stick for a round on the topic "Right now I feel..." and saw the noticeable shift in emotions. By going into fear together we generated the fuel for our own reserection. People were excited, and appeared to have a new sense of ownership, clarity, and purpose.

I closed the circle and released the deeper space we'd been holding. We chatted about fundraising and enjoyed a lovely meal.

While I know that the field 3 awareness was fleeting, I also know that the more we operate from that space the easier it becomes to achieve levels 3 and 4.

Life Lessons from my Chickens

We're hatching chicks in an incubator upstairs. The first few emerged on Saturday, several came on Easter sunday, and a few more are considering today as their birthday. My little kids are quite smitten by the chicks and fascinated by the process.

I am learning a great deal about transformation and life by watching the process. One thing I notice is that I really had a sense of pride for and affinity with the first brave chick. She didn't have the most effective exit strategy... she pecked for a very long time and finally broke through. I'm not sure what part of my programming has conditioned me to think that being first is best. I'm considering how much this notion serves me and perhaps I'll let it go.

The second chick had a much more efficient liberation. She pecked in a sort of straight line until she'd completed a circle and then gracefully pushed the whole top of the egg right off. She didn't have to fight nearly as much as the first. Why do I appreciate the struggle of the first more than the efficiency and grace of the second?

We have two kinds of hens, brown ones and black ones. For some reason the first 5 chicks born were brown and the next 4 chicks born were black. The black ones all died their first night. We think that they got too hot under the lamp and too dehydrated. Maybe the 5 brown chicks - being several hours older and therefore stronger - bullied the black chicks and kept them from the water? We don't know.

All the eggs began their 21 day incubation at the same time. Today there are two eggs with beaks sticking out of them, and I can see the chicks are breathing, but they appear to have no motivation to break out. This is the most interesting lesson of all to me... I put the eggs in and did what I was obligated to do. I can't do anything else. I can't break the shells open and let the chicks out because they would be weak. They MUST struggle by themselves in order to build up the muscle strength and determination needed to survive.

It doesn't matter if I'm fearful, helpful, prayerful, or facilitative... each of those chicks has to make its own choice to fight out of it's shell or to simply die.

Like the school we're working to start. I've done what I can to guide the visioning and the strategic planning process. At our last meeting we agreed to re-open a number of the variables which had been pinned down in the first iteration of the strategic plan draft. Some of the possibilities included realizing something less than what we had dreamt. We even came face to face with the possibility of giving up altogether. I encouraged everyone to sit in the place of uncertainty which we created by re-opening the variables. I asked them to see what the various options feel like.

I hope that what emerges from this time of incubation is a fight to live, a fight to emerge from our shell and grow feathers so that one day Leslie Creative Learning Cooperative might fly. Creation is a tender and fragile process, yet it is infinite and constant. Even if all my chicks don't hatch there will always be more chickens. The seeds I plan and tend to may never bloom, but there will always be flowers. For this, I am grateful.